ricklibrarian had an amusing phone call at the desk earlier in the week that was right out of Monty Python. "A woman called the library to request that we check our shelves for an item. I had trouble understanding her. Her voice was fuzzy and there were loud children's voices in the background. I think she was in a kitchen on a speaker phone. I had to ask her twice the title of the item. Just as I understood, she yelled, "Leave him alone! I told you to leave him alone!" I identified the item in the catalog and told her I was going to check the shelf."
Tales from the "Liberry" gives us Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #40, "Hey, do you got any tax forms here?"