Check Out a Chair

Walk in, scan your card, and you'll check out a chair at the library.

Sound a tad revolutionary?

Nah, that's not revolutionary. What is revolutionary is having that chair follow you around the library like a good little puppy.

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Homer Simpson says:

Oooooh! I don't want a chair that'll just follow me around! I want one that can drive me around so I don't have to use my own legs like a chump!

And it should have those articumulated arms so it can more easily reach those uppers shelves.

And crack me me open a Duff when I want one.

And rip open bags of chips.

And all you've got is one that will follow me around like puppy?! Hello! I've already got two kids and a dog who'll do that anyway!

Save the easily offended: ban everything.

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