What Librarians Really Say to Patrons

Ever wonder what librarians think when they see patrons every day, every minute...things like...Leave me alone, can\'t you see I am trying to read the new Harry Potter book?Books are not my life. I have a life and it does not involve you.
Leave me alone, can\'t you see I am reading the new Harry Potter book?I am busy and can\'t help you. I don\'t know how but if you find someone in here who can help you, do not let me know.Books are not my life, I have a life and it does not involve you.Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.About 10 minutes ago, the same patron asked me your question, go find him/her and find out what I told them.Read the signs before you ask a question.Always remember I will forget your question because it made no sense but I will answer it anyway.No, I don\'t have time to answer questions.Try to limit the number of words in your question to less than 5.Once upon a time, there was a librarian who lived in a shoe, got tired of answering questions so they ignored you.Please be quiet, I hear you asking me a question and I do not hear myself thinking of how not to anwer you.Attitude is everything. Don\'t give me yours.To ask a question is human so I\'ll can forgive you for wasting my time.Respect, let me tell you I get no respect, if you respected me you would find the answer to your own question.Only you could ask me the question, \"do you work here?\" to which I say, \"no, I only get paid to sit at the reference desk and look like I can assist people like you-it is called compensation for pain and sufferingNo, you may not talk in the library, therefore, you must write your question down and did I mention I can\'t read either?

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