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So the NYT has a story on this video called "the story of stuff." And so I clicked on it. But unfortunately, I could only watch 3:59 of the 20 minute presentation before I felt so absolutely horrible about being an American human person, that I had to just shoot myself in the head.
Okay, I didn't shoot myself in the head because the bullets and gunpowder and metals and plastics used to make the gun were part of the vast exploitational conspiracy of Americans over the world's poor that I gave the gun to one of the world's exploited poor people so he could rob the nearest department store. Which he did. But first he stole my watch.
(Well, not stole because the gold was originally stolen from his country first by evil Americans; so I was just giving the gold back to him in the form of a very expensive Swiss watch.)