Humor

Man Booked In Library

Found this one on the AP Wire.

A man who got himself trapped inside a library has been booked -- after calling 911 -- for breaking and entering.


Gregory Roberts, 43, was arrested when he called police from a pay phone in the foyer of the library, police Sgt. Joel Cano said.


Officers found his shoeprints on broken glass where he allegedly gained entry by kicking in a window pane, and Roberts apparently cut his hands while dealing with glass shards, Cano said.
Wandering inside the library, Roberts got trapped between the outer and inner doors of the foyer, Cano said. He couldn\'t go back in, and he couldn\'t go back out.
Now Roberts is behind another door -- a jail door.


\"Sometimes,\" Cano said, \"late night studying just doesn\'t pay.\"

The Porn Only OPAC

News.com has a Story on a new piece of software called ImageFilter from LookThatUp. They say the software classifies visual information by color, texture, shape and spatial configuration, It\'ll then analyze the data to make a sort of fingerprint for each image that is compared to other images. If it finds a questionable image, ImageFilter will email you! All those hours wasted surfing for porn at the local public library are over! Now you can just sign up and let this little baby get your porn for you!Now, I know your saying to your self, \"Blake, what does this mean to me, the average librarian?\", well I\'ll tell you!
I have 3 magic words for you.... -- Read More

T. Herman Zweibel for the Children

T. Herman Zweibel, Publisher Emeritus over at The Onion has decded He Will Decide What is Appropriate for Children, so stop worrying about filters and banning books and all that junk, leave it up to Herman!

\"This Republic has once again succumbed to the notion, common in prosperous times, that children are precious porcelain cherubs who should be kept in velvet-lined gilt boxes and protected from the harsh realities of life. They say I should not be publishing the swear-words in my news-paper, nor the teats above the front-page fold, where children may see them.

Library Cartoons: An annotated bibliography

I ran across this Page a part of Denise Plourde\'s cool Web Site. Her Library Humor page has a great section with An annotated bibliography of Library Cartoons, where cartoons have mentioned libraries or librarians. My favorite is Dilberts date with the libarian who is so smart she can read his mind. Blondie, Bloom County, Calvin and Hobbes and many more are included.

Where is the porn?

I was rolling on the floor after reading this column from Fayettevillenc.com. A man goes into the library searching for porn, but finds himslef at a loss as to where to start. \"I’ve learned that when looking for something in the library, the best place to start is at the computerized directory. So I found one and began my search.

P-O-R-N-O-G-R-A-P-H-Y, I typed. Up popped an alphabetical list.

Porcupines, pork-free diet ... ah, here we are, pornography. This wasn’t going to take as long as I’d thought.I clicked on the first couple of listings I came to, wrote down the catalog numbers and went a huntin’ for porn.\" -- Read More

Books By The HSN

Nolalive has a hard to follow Story today. Cedar Rapids Public Library got a book from a Louisiana woman who received it from the Home Shopping Network. She says she received the book in February, after returning an electric frying pan she\'d purchased from the cable television network.

\"They do such enormous business, they\'re bound to make mistakes, But I do balance it (now) with Court TV. It\'s a lot more educational, and it\'s not so tough on the Visa.\" She said.

HSN says \"I don\'t really know how to confirm anything\" It seems the book just showed up at her house, from HSN, and she then sent it to the library.

Worth of Librarians

In the animal world we have aggregations such as: a pride of lions, a pod of whales, a gaggle of geese, a murmuration of starlings, and so forth. James Lipton, in his book An Exaltation of Larks (Penguin Books, 1993) says that the technical term for such aggregations is venery. Lipton’s book provides rules for turning the creation of terms of venery into a game. His rules amount essentially to all players coming up with terms of venery, with one judge determining categories and later awarding points to the best terms.

There are even terms of venery that change depending on exactly where the group is. For example, geese on land are a flock, in flight they\'re a skein, and in the water a plump. Venery is at times age related, as in a kindle of kittens but a clowder of cats.

What might there be for us humans? How about a bean pot of accountants or a tintinnabulation of politicians? Perhaps we should consider a worth of librarians. We could get tagged with worse! And librarians ARE worth a lot! -- Read More

IFLANET Library Humour

Bob Cox sent in the IFLANET Library Humour site. You can read, and laugh along, with such classics as :


REVEYRAND\'S LIBRARY LAWS
LIGHTBULB JOKES
The Top 13 Obscure Campus Library Rules
And many, many more.

Q: What happens when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A: You get all the information you want, but you can\'t understand it.

Got Trivia?

I am working on putting together a trizia quiz to be published on LISNews next week. If you have some interesting trivia to contribute to the 1st annual \"LISNews.com Librarian Trivia Contest\" please Email Me : blake@lisnews.com.

Be sure to check back next week for the exciting quiz, maybe you can win huge and exciting prizes. (Grand Prize will be less than $1.00us, so don\'t get too excited.)

The Librarian Interview

When I first got my MLS and sent out tons of resumes, I only got a few interviews. I once was told I came across as shy, that I was not assertive, and I needed to be more agressive.So here is what I said at interviews...Perhaps all of the librarians out there could give me some interview pointers. The D is for the library director\'s questions...Director:
Why do you want to work here?I heard you have a nice book collection.D: Who is Harry Potter?The library\'s gardener. -- Read More

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